Thursday, January 17, 2008

How To Start Conversation

Today's advice was requested by a young man from the US who we'll refer to henceforth as G. G asks:

I'm not sure how to strike up conversations girls I don't know. Or any girl for that matter. All of my friends are guys and none of them seem to have this problem but I'm too embarrassed to ask them for advice. Please help?


I assure you at one point or another all of your guy friends were in the same boat as you. Talking to girls is intimidating. You're lead to believe from a young age that girls are somehow inherently different than boys. In reality that isn't very true, especially not over the age of six. Chances are you share at least one common interest with every girl you meet. They like all of the same things you do. Music, TV shows, movies, books, and maybe even video games. Gaming is a lot more popular these days. It's just a matter of what kind of music, which TV shows, etc., etc.

So what's the trick? Just approach every conversation as if you were talking to another guy. Maybe not as familiarly as you'd address your friends of course, but no differently than you'd speak to any other guy you met in class or at work or whatever. Start with a greeting and follow it up with something nonchalant like, "Have you heard the new Weezer album?" or, "Did you see what happened last night on Lost?" Bam! Instant conversation. What if she doesn't like Weezer or Lost? Brush it off and try to get her talking about why she should give them a try. Don't be forceful or obnoxious, but don't shy away from her if she doesn't happen to like the topic you started with. There are plenty of others to move on to.

Such as current events or the weather. These are extremely basic and timeless conversation starters. Warm-ups if you will. There is always something in the news worth talking about, even if it's how bad the news team is or how ridiculous the reporters hair looks. Also, there is always weather and something to say about it. Is it freaking cold? Has rain ruined your plans for the day? Maybe it's sunnier and nicer than it was supposed to be. All are easy ins for conversation with strangers, even girls.

When it truly comes down to it, girls and boys are the same. Once you realize this, approaching them becomes a lot less foreign and imposing.